Years ago, a philosophy professor of mine once asked: What is love? Is it that which feels empty and seeks to be filled? Or is it that which feels full and seeks to express and to give of itself? I would perhaps substitute “love” with “desire” but by that I mean the true desire of the heart. True Desire of the Heart being the heart's pathway/The heart’s motion/the heart’s movement/the heart’s journey.
Some teachers would say that the first way (Scarcity) is less evolved than the second way (Abundance), and in a way, that is true in that one follows the other in linear time. But when seen as a circle, or a spiral, or through the wisdom of nature’s intelligence, one could be seen as the in-breath, the other, the out-breath. We empty our lungs, become quiet and absolutely still, we erase ourselves. Then a deep natural desire begins to open our lungs as we fill what is empty, with Life, with Aliveness, with Breath. We plant a seed in the fertile dark. The emptiness can’t help but become a womb for gestation, for new life. When we are full, we are SO FULL, we feel we would burst if we kept this fullness to ourselves (as if it were ourselves!), in other words, it becomes “bigger than us,” so then we give of ourselves/give birth/give breath, having transmuted the oxygen into carbon dioxide for our plant family. Our very emptying fills others, is a gift.
There is a Native American saying about the left and the right wings of a bird…how can they argue about who is better? They belong to the same bird. When we are emptying ourselves, it can be easy to cast judgment on those who are filling themselves, and when we are filling ourselves, we can cast judgment on those who are emptying themselves. As if my breathing in while you breathe out is a crime. As if my right to exist, to breathe, to be, to make, to be, to sing and dance, to play, to eat, to partake of life were a crime. Or your right to let go, to die, to be torn asunder, to be sacrificed, were a shame. It is not. It is all Holy. Death and Life both~ Holy. Opening and closing both~ Holy.
Doing this at different times, like flowers in a garden who take turns blooming and wilting, assists the Garden of Life so that all roles are filled always. So that some grieve while others celebrate, so that some sleep while others wake, so that some slow down while others speed up. This may look and feel like chaos, but perhaps it is just the organs of the Organism finding their way to their sacred niches in the Body of the One, the specks of the sand being blown by a Holy Wind to form an image made more beautiful by its multidimensionality. If I choose to be the left wing of the bird, I need YOU who associate with the right wing of the bird in order to achieve my higher purpose. If I choose to be the mouth that drinks, I need the throat that swallows, the belly that digests. Or if I am the bird that flies, I need the winds that rise up from below on which to spread my feathers. Or the tree that needs ground to stand tall. We are all of these things, and yet, aren’t we in bodies so that we can participate in the creation of something greater than what could be created alone?
I am not speaking of the belonging of sameness, but of the Holy Belonging of having a Common Heart, a Heart at the Crossroads of difference, a Heart not meant to eliminate but to enhance and harmonize difference. The mast that the sails can hang from, dancing freely in the winds of Story. As I write this I feel myself in touch with that Oneness, and at the same time am aware of myself as a unique individual with a role to play. I used to mistake the search for Oneness as a dissolution of self, as a kind of invisibility, as a “spiritual” excuse to keep myself small. Humility is not disempowerment. Humility means “Placing the Source without source at the center of our lives.” And what does it look like to place that “Source” at the center of our lives? I suppose it depends on where we are standing. What it looks like for me will be different than what it looks like for you. And in fact, this world we live in is so complex, with so many things that need tending, that thank God our jobs are different. But what I am speaking to is the recognition that, from wherever we stand, there is a keynote that ripples through all of it, and that keynote is the multi-dimensional harmonizer that recognizes all pieces of the puzzle as vital, as part of Itself, as Love, and to which, if we all listen, will bring us more fully home to ourselves wherever we are, and to the knowledge that our soul’s journey is precisely our own true Holy Ground. Exactly where we are. Always.
What would it look like if we began to meet each other in every moment without judging one another’s Holy Ground? What would like if we could do this also without being ignorant of or blind to each other’s unique gifts? In other words…honoring one another’s Holy Ground? What would it look like if we could see: you are the right wing to my left wing, you are the green to my yellow, the this to my that, and maybe we could build a temple together? A Temple for Unconditional Love? Because you challenge me, I want to make you my brother. Because you make me uncomfortable, I want to understand how you are my sister. Because we are different, we can build something vast. Perhaps it could begin with sitting down to tea together, putting down our weapons, looking into each other’s eyes. Not hiding all of the whatever-ness. Perhaps this could all be held the way the Great Mother holds all. The way the Earth feeds and holds life no matter what.
This is terrifying. Remembering we are all Family. Remembering we are all One is not some easy dis-associative thing. It is Real, it is melting away the layers of judgment and walls of over-and-against-ness that are built within our hearts. The rivers of blood run strong and deep. They swell and surge as the dams fall. Let’s take our time. Let’s take good care of ourselves as we do this. This is no small thing, this Remembering. There is no wrong way to go about this. It is a current moving through all of us. May we all remember that this current is healing us all in unique ways and let us honor and respect each other even as we speak out and stand up and wake up. Let us remember, even as we play out whatever stories we need to amongst ourselves, to make our way back to the “Source without Source,” that no matter what role we all play for each other, even if that role is to be the one against which we push back or lash out, to ask that Love hold within Its vast arms all of our words, our actions, our footsteps, our ways of expressing through this great Healing.
~ May it be. ~
I know in my cells that I am a weaver of worlds. Much of what we hear each other saying in this awakening time is like a reminder, again and again and again. There is a potent activation that feels to be happening now as we as a community speak these codes to each other over and over, in our many tongues. Attuning. Clearing the noise with a pure ripple of interdependent collective soul activation. The fire of transmutation feels to be bringing all aspects of the experience of duality to a high-pitched discomfort in our human vessels, to be burned in a Divine Heat, to be emptied, to be remade, so that we become vessels standing on this Earth channeling pure Unconditional Love. Here. Now. On THIS ground. With THESE hands. and THIS voice....
I have been thinking a lot lately about the term "spiritual bypass" and realize that it is simply what happens when this celestial-terrestrial hardware (which I believe we are aligning and balancing) jumps up to pure spirit to be infused with that for an in-breath, before dropping down into what could be called pure Samsara (the human/material/plane of form) and feeling the density/weight/heat/pressure/sensation of all of it. It is as if these two are weaving back and forth in me, finding a sacred marriage. I feel a more compassionate term than "bypass" would be something like "temporary withdrawal to the spirit plane due to overwhelm caused by the intensity of the human drama." It is like the Eye of God, unaffected, seeing all in neutrality. Sometimes we need these sips, like breaths of air, in order to plunge back down into the ocean of form (the feminine).
Weaving. Bridging worlds. Channeling the love of God and Goddess back and forth/back and forth. Cool/All-seeing Light. and Hot/Sensorial Dark Mystery. In breath. Out breath.
As I slowly come into my body, it is quite intense the amount of trauma I find running through my nervous system. Can be confusing what is collective and what is personal, and I wonder if it really matters. It is as if by awakening as a celestial being into my beautiful terrestrial container, I am awakening in the very Body of Mother Earth. Feeling her nervous system pulsing through my own blood, nerves and cells.
As SHE awakens, as I awaken, and take on the tender work of healing myself, it is the same work as everyone and everything else in this vast cellular body of HER, aligning themselves within HER body to heal HER, to heal US. Now may I be a vessel, in my own moment-to-moment life, of calming HER, soothing HER, loving HER, bringing balm to HER, slowly, tenderly showing HER that it is SAFE to UNFOLD, RELAX, UNWIND, BREATHE, STRETCH OUT, shudder softly open like a flower long buried under snow, gently and tenderly calling on the soft and steady heat of the DIVINE MASCULINE SUN who sees her with his VAST EYE and holds her in steady admiration....... So may it be through the body of this unique flower that is me.