"The Marvelous Things that Aloneness Brings."
I'm totally stealing that phrase from my friend & colleague, Chad Johnson, who I had the opportunity to chat with recently about the potential gift of this time of seeming seclusion. After laughing about the fact that he is experiencing as much if not more connection than he did before the quarantine began, Chad posed an important question about this time of collective isolation:
What if we could be more curious about what wants to emerge now than stuck on wishing it wasn't this way?
Chad and I are both training in Organic Intelligence (O.I.) (a trauma healing therapy that is based in complexity science and biological re-synchronization), and it was fun to connect dots and to integrate some of the understanding that O.I. has provided us about how to "be with" what is.
A teacher of ours reminded me recently that anything and everything that arises in my mind, heart and body is arising in the now. Thoughts, emotions, images and sensations that seem related to the past or the future may seem to pull me away, but ultimately, I AM HERE NOW. And from that awareness, I can find my innate curiosity to respond from an oriented place to the circumstances in which I find myself, whatever they may be.
Some questions that arose from this dialogue with Chad that have been helpful for me:
*What if I could look back on this time with gratitude about what emerged from the unknown?
*When I'm inhibited from working in the ways I am used to, how can I redirect my work to stay engaged while accepting the new circumstances? How can I stay curious and allow the flow of my life force to continue on in new ways in this time? In the midst of change, how can I keep my channels of experience open?
*How can I live in this time (and in all times) oriented to the now as an opportunity for goodness?
My Organic Intelligence integrates naturally, automatically, and without effort, if I can reside in the freshness of now.
Thanks Chad for the dialogue. Here's a clip of my chat with the insightful cosmonaut!
It's difficult to know where to begin in expressing what Organic Intelligence is, to me. I could say that it's a form of nervous system regulation therapy and trauma healing, but that would be like describing the crumb of the cookie.
I could say that it's a form of practice, a way of engaging with others, with life, and with the world that can be practiced in every moment of every day, and still, I would only be describing the cookie in the cookie box.
The cookie box is...the Matrix of existence. It is the living, breathing soup we simmer in. It is the mycelial network of our bodies and minds as humans. If we were a forest, our nervous systems would be the mycelium growing between us, sending nutrients and messages back and forth. It would be the web that unites us all, and which allows for differentiated fractal experience to blossom, flourish and thrive in an integrated way.
Organic Intelligence is as cosmic as it is earthy, and as collective as it is individual. It is interdependence.
Organic Intelligence is teaching me how my body-mind operates, and how to be in harmonic communication with other body-minds. It is teaching me the technology of being embodied. It is teaching me how to speak the language of being human, and of being a living organism on this planet earth. It is teaching me how my soul's gifts can express themselves through the natural and innate intelligence that the technology of my body-mind provides.
Organic Intelligence as a practice is what I'm excited to share with you. It is a therapeutic process that heals trauma, but it does not do this by focusing on trauma as an enemy to be uprooted and discarded. It does not focus on the symptoms (nor does it deny them), but rather it is rooted in the understanding that wholeness is available and always speaking to us, calling itself forward in our beings, in every moment, of every day, because we are designed to evolve holistically. We are designed to heal. We are designed to retrieve and integrate all of the fragmented parts of ourselves in order to become the fullness of what we are destined to become. It's not something that requires our going outside of ourselves, but rather, it is already embedded in our cellular structure, in our DNA, in our biology.
Organic Intelligence is the practice of learning how to read the map of that biology in such a deep, refined and subtle way, so as to know how to support it to stabilize, move and flourish in the direction of healthy, self-organized evolution, both for ourselves, and for the world we inhabit, because the two go together. It is an inner and an outer revolution combined in one, pulsing, rhythmic, attuned way of walking.
Organic Intelligence teaches us to sink into and rise up to the natural organic rhythms of our biology, and of the ecosystem(s) that we inhabit, rhythms unique to each of us, yet tuned into a collective Rhythm, which I like to call the Pulse of Gaia, her planetary heartbeat.
Attuned to this rhythmicity, all manner of healing is possible, and clear pathways of growth and evolution emerge.
Personally for me, Organic Intelligence, and its cousin Somatic Experiencing, have assisted me in bridging the gap between what I experienced as a fragmentation between the longing and passion of my spirit, and the deep woundedness of conditioning and trauma stored in my body-mind. Not only personal trauma, but collective trauma, inter-generational trauma, and the trauma of Earth herself. In the bridging of that gap, I am experiencing not only a relief of the symptoms of trauma, but a core aliveness which fuels me to act in service to the collective living-breathing organism Gaia, of which I am a part.
Organic Intelligence is assisting me in maturing my relationship with suffering, teaching me how to use it as a gateway to positive evolution, and how to navigate challenges in a way that is actually enjoyable and pleasurable. It is infusing the processes of growth, healing and transformation with an essential joy.
I am excited to see where this work will take me as I deepen and widen into the field of studying, embodying and practicing Organic Intelligence, and I look forward to sharing it with you.
*Please reach out if you'd like to learn more about Organic Intelligence or if you are interested in experiencing an Organic Intelligence healing session *
* And to read more about the lineage and foundation of O.I., check out the website: organicintelligence.org *
Trauma Healing, Organic Intelligence HEART training, Upcoming Journey to Tucson, and a Request & Invitation for My Community!
I have come to the conclusion that human beings are born with an innate capacity to triumph over trauma. I believe not only that trauma is curable, but that the healing process can be a catalyst for profound awakening—a portal opening to emotional and genuine spiritual transformation. I have little doubt that as individuals, families, communities, and even nations, we have the capacity to learn how to heal and prevent much of the damage done by trauma. In so doing, we will significantly increase our ability to achieve both our individual and collective dreams.
There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in. ~ Leonard Cohen
As I sit down to write, I notice: I am sitting in a cool, semi-lit room, cross-legged on a soft and sturdy red armchair, feeling the pleasant sensation of all of the parts of my body that are touching the chair. As I gaze around the room, I see a number of little green house plants scattered along the windowsills, and the two cats I’m care-taking, who are napping in distinct, endearing postures, one on the couch on her belly with her front paws stretched forward, the other just outside in a curl of white, black and orange (I can see her sweet face where the cat door is propped open), and the shiny green leaves of the trees beyond the window, gently dancing in occasional breezes. The sun is out. Beyond the leaves, I see blue sky.
Returning my awareness to my body, I feel relaxed, pleasantly satiated from a good lunch, with a slight taste of citrus still on my tongue and behind my teeth. As I gather myself to focus on what I am here to share, I feel an activation in my chest and throat, a something-ready-to-be-shared arising from my somatic awareness, the place where authentic expression can be accessed.
I have been practicing an essential component of Organic Intelligence: orienting to pleasure. In a culture heavily addicted to what O.I. calls the “what’s wrong attention,” the simple practice of orienting again and again to what feels good and well and pleasurable, eventually stabilizes a person in a way that allows the difficulties of life to be approached safely, with ease, grace and resilience. This is especially difficult for those with early developmental trauma, whose internal radar has developed to prioritize noticing danger in the most subtle and nuanced of ways.
Orienting to pleasure is quite different than habitual comfort. It is a resting into what is alive, what is constantly shifting but settled within that shifting. It is, in a word, grounded presence. And thus it is a truly important attunement for anyone seeking wholeness and confidence, trust and empowerment in a cultural heavy with toxic stress.
I place a hand on my heart and feel: tenderness and a kind of pride in myself for the deep, consistent rewiring I have been doing within my own system, for the way in which I have been learning to “be with” parts of me that lacked vital neurological input when I was a tiny human, and for the way I have been learning to place boundaries against the old habits of overriding, denying, shaming, criticizing, depriving, and numbing the subtle voice of my unintegrated parts, which, when listened to beneath a slew of other voices, turns out to be a simple, innocent, often young voice that has simply been waiting to be met with love.
Willingness to listen to myself in this way, along with guiding therapeutic human support (“No one can do it for us, but we can’t do it alone,” we humans are wired to depend on other humans to learn healthy regulation) has led me to a passionate study of nervous system regulation and somatic therapy that was the missing link for me in my healing journey.
Before I found somatic healing, I’d studied energy healing and shamanic soul retrieval and journeywork, I'd worked with some plant medicines, did a vision fast, and took pilgrimages based on dreams and visions, all of which were incredibly powerful but still left me stuck with the question: What do I do with this? This ability to manipulate energy, these visions, this multi-dimensional information: What is it for in the here and now? I longed for a simple, grounded, embodied life.
Somatic healing is building the bridge between where I’ve been and where I’m going, between what’s “out there” and what’s “in here,” between stories and concepts of the multi-dimensional nature and simple, primal, animal knowing. I can’t express how grateful I am to have found this work.
Not only is it amazing medicine for me, but I am discovering that this work is foundational, incredibly valuable, and very needed in the world. What do you know? It’s true what they say about our wounds becoming our medicine.
I love the image of the Japanese tea cups that when cracked, are repaired by being inlaid with gold. It’s a perfect metaphor for this transmutation and resiliency work. The places where there are gaps can be filled in, but not as if erased forever. Rather they are replaced with something unique, something beautiful, something strong. The gold is where we’ve had to stretch ourselves to learn something beyond what we were handed via conditioning. To fill the cracks with gold takes courage, curiosity, creativity, trust, diligence, profound compassion, and receptivity to support. As Leonard Cohen says, “there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” Trauma is like that. It can be the doorway to brilliance, if we embark on the journey to renegotiate its deep imprints in our being.
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So where is this leading in the development of my work in the world? I am proud to announce that I’ve been accepted to the Organic Intelligence H.E.A.R.T. training (Human Empowerment and Resiliency Training), a program that was born out of the Somatic Experiencing Institute (based on the work of Peter Levine), and which is a newer, more Systems-based approach to that same training, with more developed mapping systems and inclusive of some additional components. This is a leading-edge trauma-resiliency program that bridges mindfulness and neuroscience. O.I. can be applied in one-on-one therapy in tracking with advanced precision an individual’s system, and can also be used to understand and navigate social systems, cultural & environmental issues, and global issues.
This is an approach to healing trauma that is “beyond trauma,” in that it recognizes that a paradigm shift is needed in the way we do trauma work in general, a shift in orientation toward what naturally governs our lives that is beyond our traumatized conditioning, imprints, relational and cultural habits, & even the way we have been doing “trauma healing” up until this point, which has often been heavy, scary, intense, cathartic, or simply ineffective. O.I. is based on an important principle: that healthy agency and action towards improving our world does not come from survival urgency, but rather that when individuals are able to operate from their natural organic state (beyond trauma), we naturally behave in ways that are caring, kind compassionate, and abundant with creative energy to re-wire the larger systems in which we live. Heart-centered.
So….. I’m on the track to becoming a professional Organic Intelligence practitioner! I’m quite excited!
It’s a three year training, which includes two six-day residential retreats each year, online material and a mentorship program. The first module takes place this September in Tucson, Arizona.
Image from Kenyan Ranch, where the training will take place!
This is where YOU (my community) comes in.
First off, yay, we’re doing this healing the world thing together, one baby step at a time, each in our own unique ways. Even though the troubles on our planet are, at times, overwhelming, when I tune into my true nature I feel gratitude to be here in this work and world with all of you.
I’d like to share that I've been offering healing sessions for a little over a year now, and have had a few clients over the course of that year. I can say that it has been quite beautiful and incredible to witness the changes that are possible over a period of time of committing to this work. The ones that stuck around with me long enough allowed me to see not only emotional, relational and energetic changes that stuck (due to healthy regulation work) but also physical symptoms adjust, such as recovering from alcohol addiction, clearing migraines, easing chronic intestinal flare-ups and even clearing eczema (and, in my personal case, the re-balancing of skeletal and muscular structure put out of whack by a car accident that simply amplified imbalances I’d been walking around with for years). The big thing underlying all of this: More ease in the body allowing for the “voices” underlying these conditions to be heard in a safe and supported way, so that clients could inhabit their lives more fully, more authentically, more “themselves.”
I know that this is a direction I want to continue to grow, supporting people in this way. Hence the choice to make the decision to train in this program: I feel I am ready to take my work to the next level. This program will provide me a support network as well as the advanced tools and in-depth training I need to offer this work more regularly, with more capacity to take on more clients and make a bigger impact.
So, to get the ball rolling, I’m going to need some support in covering expenses for this next phase for me.
If you’d like to support me, please consider contributing to my GoFundMe, which will cover the lodging ($900) and travel ($500) expenses for this first upcoming training (I’m going to pay tuition with my own savings).
Every little bit helps!
Here is the link for the GOFUNDME:
Thank you for your support!
If you don't have the means to contribute monetarily, or if you do and want to support me further, you can also assist by spreading the word about my budding practice, by being in touch to schedule with me if you or someone you know may be interested in receiving a session, and/or if you have access to an inexpensive space that might be a good fit for me to use as I take on more clients. (At the moment I’m borrowing space from a couple of friends from time to time for the intermittent sessions that I give).
Here is the link to the web page for my healing practice, if you're curious: https://desertlotus12.weebly.com/somatic-healing-sessions.html
And here is a link to the Organic Intelligence website, for more of an overview of the program, if you're curious about that: https://organicintelligence.org/about-organic-intelligence/
Finally, I hope to set up a newsletter at some point in the next few months, so let me know if you’d like to be included in that mailing list, to receive updates on my journey and shared information about what I am learning in the realm of healing (might throw some poetry in there too! ;-))
Finally, the link for my GOFUNDME one more time!
~Blessings of love and gratitude ~
Hello beautiful community.
First of all, it feels so good to be sitting here writing this from a place that feels both vulnerable and strong, and to be deepening in a practice which has been hard for me for most of my life, as I reach out to ask for support.
As some of you know, I experienced a car accident near the beginning of April and have been recovering these last few weeks. It felt pretty terrible at first, totaling my new car (only half paid for, and with no collision insurance) and dealing with whiplash (for which I’m still currently being treated), but one month later I’m beginning to feel from a deep place within me the gift that this accident has been in my life.
Today I was supported through a deeply transformative session to renegotiate some of the trauma of the accident itself, with the help of my amazing somatic experiencing therapist, Janice. I told her that the accident, even though it came out of “left field” (literally and figuratively! (I had to swerve left around the car in front of me!)), felt, even while it was happening, like the final domino in a long series of dominoes that was waiting to topple, and I knew, somehow, even in that moment, that if I healed through this with creativity, trust, and the right kind of attention, I’d heal a whole lot more beneath the surface than the effects of those few seconds on the road.
Talk about a chance to practice what I preach! My newly budding intuitive somatic healing practice, Desert Lotus Healing, is all about accessing and bolstering deep, innate resilience in the whole being.
I recall a similar moment in the summer of 2013 when I was in the Peruvian jungle in the middle of a plant medicine ceremony, feeling the profound anxiety that was connected to the chronic illness I had then, contracted in Guatemala a couple of years before, and knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt: If I heal from this, if I uproot the fear of this particular thing, lifetimes (or at the very least this lifetime) of the same fear will be uprooted along with it (the domino effect of healing trauma). And it was true.
After the accident last month, I’ve had no choice but to tap even more deeply into my own inner resources, to slow down, to nourish, to ask for help and to say no to things where I was too stretched, all while not losing hope for the things in my life I have been slowly building toward. I went through a few bouts of depression that released with spontaneous tears in moments where I felt the loss of the carefully constructed pieces of life I had been building little by little and with much diligence, fall apart so quickly. After each release, I was left lucid, clear, fresh, and aware yet again that I have absolutely no control over what happens in my life, but that I do have choice about how I respond. And I was shown that even though the house fell down, the builder in me did not. One day crying, the next day laughing, I’m learning what it means to be even more open, even more receptive, even more trusting, even more brave, and even more alive. I feel like I have courage to take more risks, even as I accept the limitations of the conditions I am continually handed. I'm getting a chance to get creative about manifesting my dreams.
I am in the midst of applying for for a four-day intensive with Shakti Rising at the end of this month. I’m excited about it. It’s called Practical Alchemy: An Embodied Wisdom Teacher Training, “a feminine-centered training model of leadership, empowerment and facilitation,” which “weaves personal healing and social change, holding both as essential to true embodiment of any and all teaching material.” Totally up my alley, especially as I’ve already been dipping my toes in the waters of this teaching/facilitation thing. At first I thought, “There’s no way I can do this now. I’m broke!” But after speaking with the lovely Eden (who’s in charge of registration for the program) on the phone last week, and tuning in at soul level to whether this gathering is right for me, I got a strong “Yes” and a knowing that:
A. This training will provide the next level of support and resources that I need to take my work as a healer, leader, and embodied presence in service to the world to the next level, and
B. Taking the risk to apply even though I can’t pay for it on my own is a big part of the life lesson I am learning right now about trust and receptivity
To learn more about the training, check it out here:
And to contribute to my Plumfund campaign, click here:
I will also be attending a leading-edge trauma-resilience training called Organic Intelligence, the newest iteration of Somatic Experiencing, which begins in the Fall. More on that later!
I look forward to sharing more with you all about what I emerge with from these investments I am making that will deepen my knowledge and practice.
~With love, gratitude, and resilience~
A metaphor I like to work with which helps me to be in right relationship with healing is of a Divine Being which divides itself in two different archetypes: the Buddha and the Shaman. The Buddha sits at the metaphorical "top of the mountain," already whole, home and free. The Shaman comes down the mountain like the Holy Shepherd seeking lost sheep, to guide them home with love. The Shaman is the story that is unfolding in space-time, working in partnership with the Buddha who is without story, existing as primordial being beyond space-time. The Shaman is the map, constantly in flux, but always ordered and always tied to its counterpart, the Buddha. So when I talk about healing at its most basic level, I simply mean deepening conscious recognition of the story of life as connected with wholeness, a marriage of the two aspects of existence and of our own being. I do not see one as "better than" the other, but both as integral to the functionality of the multi-verse we inhabit.
When taken together with the Buddha, the role of the Shaman (the part of us that is living a story here on Earth and that is constantly evolving and growing) can be approached without judgement or pressure. There is no "right" or "wrong" to being in a cycle of life that is more about BEING or in one that is more focused on BECOMING. When we talk about healing we tend to focus on BECOMING, that is, the part that is in story, moving, shifting, striving for balance and transmutation of suffering. Remembering that BEING is just as real, ever-present, and available as BECOMING helps take the stress and criticism out of the journey of BECOMING, and fuels it with life force that is constantly available and can be rested into. Knowing we are not actually truly lost despite how lost we might feel, and that our very lostness is itself part of the point, can help us to relax more fully into the challenge of the journey of healing, personally, collectively, planetarily, and cosmically.
I am writing while parts of me still linger in the land of Bhutan.
I am writing while I still remember the part of me that transcends all temporal places, because it is Home, always, straightforwardly, purely, simply, rawly, Home.
There is a transparency that sees everything and that sees nothing. That is, an eye that does not define what it sees, but that simply sees.
There is a heart that loves everything and loves nothing. That is, a heart that does not define what it loves. Does not judge what it loves.
There is an openness which cannot be destroyed, not because it is shielded, but because it is utterly raw and utterly unshielded. It touches and is touched by all things and melts all things in the furnace of Compassion.
There is an innocence which cannot be shattered, not because it avoids experience, but because it embraces experience utterly, feeling the shock and the pain and the pleasure of it pass through like waves in an ocean of Pure Presence. What shatters are its shields.
There are wings in my heart, there are tears in my eyes, there is a song, a prayer for ALL OF YOU: May you know in your bones that every tiny, awkward, part of you, every fearful, hiding part of you, every jealous, confused, self-sabotaging part of you….is a JEWEL awaiting the eyes of Love to gaze upon it and see its true beauty, and YOU are the alchemist with the eyes to match. Because YOU are created in the image of the Whole, and every moment of Love that you have ever experienced from a mother, a father, a lover, a brother, a sister, an animal, a tree, an ocean, the sound of bells or drums or voices or breath, every moment that has cut through the walls in you so you forgot yourself enough to remember yourself, is simply a mirror, a messenger, telling you: Look, Look at who you truly are. Look, look…at what is possible in the embrace of emptiness:
May all beings be liberated from suffering and the causes of suffering.
Not by rejecting it but by looking through it to the other side of the veil, which, mirror-like, encases the Samsaric world like the tender hands of a prayer uttered beyond time, a prayer whose breath is re-arranging the temporal plane with fierce compassion and incredible patience, for freedom can never be forced, it can only be invited, and the invitation is descending from the high mountains and spreading across all valleys and pouring like sweet water into all crevasses, taking root in Earth’s deep core, and blossoming like a lotus across all space-time, to welcome us, gently, Home.
The spiritual perspective is meant to remind us that we are not victims of our circumstances. However, it is not meant to be an excuse to bypass or avoid our circumstances. Rather, it is meant to infuse us with the infinite power we need to meet our circumstances fully.
When in balance, it gives us the fuel (Yang) we need to metabolize, integrate, and transmute our experiences, combined with the deep patience, self-love and self-compassion which discerns appropriate pace, timing and dose of the transmutive processes for all aspects of our vessel--physical, emotional, mental--such that the healing fire absorbs not through force but through trust and relaxation (Yin). The Yang fire burns through old patterning, while the Yin grounds us in a true and thorough stabilization at a higher functioning level of authenticity, aliveness and well-being.
Years ago, a philosophy professor of mine once asked: What is love? Is it that which feels empty and seeks to be filled? Or is it that which feels full and seeks to express and to give of itself? I would perhaps substitute “love” with “desire” but by that I mean the true desire of the heart. True Desire of the Heart being the heart's pathway/The heart’s motion/the heart’s movement/the heart’s journey.
Some teachers would say that the first way (Scarcity) is less evolved than the second way (Abundance), and in a way, that is true in that one follows the other in linear time. But when seen as a circle, or a spiral, or through the wisdom of nature’s intelligence, one could be seen as the in-breath, the other, the out-breath. We empty our lungs, become quiet and absolutely still, we erase ourselves. Then a deep natural desire begins to open our lungs as we fill what is empty, with Life, with Aliveness, with Breath. We plant a seed in the fertile dark. The emptiness can’t help but become a womb for gestation, for new life. When we are full, we are SO FULL, we feel we would burst if we kept this fullness to ourselves (as if it were ourselves!), in other words, it becomes “bigger than us,” so then we give of ourselves/give birth/give breath, having transmuted the oxygen into carbon dioxide for our plant family. Our very emptying fills others, is a gift.
There is a Native American saying about the left and the right wings of a bird…how can they argue about who is better? They belong to the same bird. When we are emptying ourselves, it can be easy to cast judgment on those who are filling themselves, and when we are filling ourselves, we can cast judgment on those who are emptying themselves. As if my breathing in while you breathe out is a crime. As if my right to exist, to breathe, to be, to make, to be, to sing and dance, to play, to eat, to partake of life were a crime. Or your right to let go, to die, to be torn asunder, to be sacrificed, were a shame. It is not. It is all Holy. Death and Life both~ Holy. Opening and closing both~ Holy.
Doing this at different times, like flowers in a garden who take turns blooming and wilting, assists the Garden of Life so that all roles are filled always. So that some grieve while others celebrate, so that some sleep while others wake, so that some slow down while others speed up. This may look and feel like chaos, but perhaps it is just the organs of the Organism finding their way to their sacred niches in the Body of the One, the specks of the sand being blown by a Holy Wind to form an image made more beautiful by its multidimensionality. If I choose to be the left wing of the bird, I need YOU who associate with the right wing of the bird in order to achieve my higher purpose. If I choose to be the mouth that drinks, I need the throat that swallows, the belly that digests. Or if I am the bird that flies, I need the winds that rise up from below on which to spread my feathers. Or the tree that needs ground to stand tall. We are all of these things, and yet, aren’t we in bodies so that we can participate in the creation of something greater than what could be created alone?
I am not speaking of the belonging of sameness, but of the Holy Belonging of having a Common Heart, a Heart at the Crossroads of difference, a Heart not meant to eliminate but to enhance and harmonize difference. The mast that the sails can hang from, dancing freely in the winds of Story. As I write this I feel myself in touch with that Oneness, and at the same time am aware of myself as a unique individual with a role to play. I used to mistake the search for Oneness as a dissolution of self, as a kind of invisibility, as a “spiritual” excuse to keep myself small. Humility is not disempowerment. Humility means “Placing the Source without source at the center of our lives.” And what does it look like to place that “Source” at the center of our lives? I suppose it depends on where we are standing. What it looks like for me will be different than what it looks like for you. And in fact, this world we live in is so complex, with so many things that need tending, that thank God our jobs are different. But what I am speaking to is the recognition that, from wherever we stand, there is a keynote that ripples through all of it, and that keynote is the multi-dimensional harmonizer that recognizes all pieces of the puzzle as vital, as part of Itself, as Love, and to which, if we all listen, will bring us more fully home to ourselves wherever we are, and to the knowledge that our soul’s journey is precisely our own true Holy Ground. Exactly where we are. Always.
What would it look like if we began to meet each other in every moment without judging one another’s Holy Ground? What would like if we could do this also without being ignorant of or blind to each other’s unique gifts? In other words…honoring one another’s Holy Ground? What would it look like if we could see: you are the right wing to my left wing, you are the green to my yellow, the this to my that, and maybe we could build a temple together? A Temple for Unconditional Love? Because you challenge me, I want to make you my brother. Because you make me uncomfortable, I want to understand how you are my sister. Because we are different, we can build something vast. Perhaps it could begin with sitting down to tea together, putting down our weapons, looking into each other’s eyes. Not hiding all of the whatever-ness. Perhaps this could all be held the way the Great Mother holds all. The way the Earth feeds and holds life no matter what.
This is terrifying. Remembering we are all Family. Remembering we are all One is not some easy dis-associative thing. It is Real, it is melting away the layers of judgment and walls of over-and-against-ness that are built within our hearts. The rivers of blood run strong and deep. They swell and surge as the dams fall. Let’s take our time. Let’s take good care of ourselves as we do this. This is no small thing, this Remembering. There is no wrong way to go about this. It is a current moving through all of us. May we all remember that this current is healing us all in unique ways and let us honor and respect each other even as we speak out and stand up and wake up. Let us remember, even as we play out whatever stories we need to amongst ourselves, to make our way back to the “Source without Source,” that no matter what role we all play for each other, even if that role is to be the one against which we push back or lash out, to ask that Love hold within Its vast arms all of our words, our actions, our footsteps, our ways of expressing through this great Healing.
~ May it be. ~
I know in my cells that I am a weaver of worlds. Much of what we hear each other saying in this awakening time is like a reminder, again and again and again. There is a potent activation that feels to be happening now as we as a community speak these codes to each other over and over, in our many tongues. Attuning. Clearing the noise with a pure ripple of interdependent collective soul activation. The fire of transmutation feels to be bringing all aspects of the experience of duality to a high-pitched discomfort in our human vessels, to be burned in a Divine Heat, to be emptied, to be remade, so that we become vessels standing on this Earth channeling pure Unconditional Love. Here. Now. On THIS ground. With THESE hands. and THIS voice....
I have been thinking a lot lately about the term "spiritual bypass" and realize that it is simply what happens when this celestial-terrestrial hardware (which I believe we are aligning and balancing) jumps up to pure spirit to be infused with that for an in-breath, before dropping down into what could be called pure Samsara (the human/material/plane of form) and feeling the density/weight/heat/pressure/sensation of all of it. It is as if these two are weaving back and forth in me, finding a sacred marriage. I feel a more compassionate term than "bypass" would be something like "temporary withdrawal to the spirit plane due to overwhelm caused by the intensity of the human drama." It is like the Eye of God, unaffected, seeing all in neutrality. Sometimes we need these sips, like breaths of air, in order to plunge back down into the ocean of form (the feminine).
Weaving. Bridging worlds. Channeling the love of God and Goddess back and forth/back and forth. Cool/All-seeing Light. and Hot/Sensorial Dark Mystery. In breath. Out breath.
As I slowly come into my body, it is quite intense the amount of trauma I find running through my nervous system. Can be confusing what is collective and what is personal, and I wonder if it really matters. It is as if by awakening as a celestial being into my beautiful terrestrial container, I am awakening in the very Body of Mother Earth. Feeling her nervous system pulsing through my own blood, nerves and cells.
As SHE awakens, as I awaken, and take on the tender work of healing myself, it is the same work as everyone and everything else in this vast cellular body of HER, aligning themselves within HER body to heal HER, to heal US. Now may I be a vessel, in my own moment-to-moment life, of calming HER, soothing HER, loving HER, bringing balm to HER, slowly, tenderly showing HER that it is SAFE to UNFOLD, RELAX, UNWIND, BREATHE, STRETCH OUT, shudder softly open like a flower long buried under snow, gently and tenderly calling on the soft and steady heat of the DIVINE MASCULINE SUN who sees her with his VAST EYE and holds her in steady admiration....... So may it be through the body of this unique flower that is me.
Integrating/Harmonizing the Absolute (nirvana) and the Relative (samsara) through making Time an ally:
One can think of the Absolute as the free, unhindered vibration of Unconditional Love, and the Relative as the realm of all Stories (Form, the material, words, that which wraps around and dresses Essence).
In balancing and integrating these two, it can be helpful to see what it looks like to be out of balance.
What could be termed “Bypassing” is premature disassociation from story (caused by overwhelm). It is a perfectly natural response, and is often the system’s way of saying “Take it slow, and see if you can ease into noticing your feelings.” Not to be mistaken with True Freedom however. It can be likened to the Buddhist concept of “secondary suffering” which is a layer over primary suffering.
What we call “Suffering” is being caught in the stories as in a whirlwind, giving our power over to them and feeling helpless/powerless. When we feel this, it is our system’s way of saying, “Wake up! Take a breath of free, spacious air. Notice what is dragging you around, because you are ready to do the work to transcend it (victimhood)."
Integration point is in the Golden Center (what could be called Unity Consciousness). From this place, one sits as in the Eye of the Storm, feeling, healing and forgiving all of it, with a keen sense of right timing, existing simultaneously in a state of Nirvana and Samsara, not ignoring but rather infusing the Relative with the Gnosis of the Absolute.
Think of it as Spiritual digestion.
We are returning to the memory of ourselves as living libraries that contain all frequencies within us, and in order to evolve beyond unneccessary fear (which keeps these frequencies in disharmony), we must go through healing processes which will look unique to each of us in order to arrive at a place of true forgiveness and re-assimilation of all aspects of ourselves that have been estranged, to welcome them Home to the Center of our All-Encompassing Nature.
On using Time as an Ally: We recognize that Time, like our egos, personalities, and minds, is component of the Relative Blueprint. That is, it is not to be denied (suppressed), nor is it to be given the false power we have given it. These are all components that hold the Third Dimension together so they do have an important role. But it need not be fixed. As we move into 5D and beyond, and reclaim our co-creative capacity by submitting our 3D will to our higher dimensional Will (thus ensuring that our creation happen responsibly and in alignment with the Highest Good of All), we can influence these relative third-dimensional ingredients by channeling higher frequency energies that can mold and shape time and space. In this way we have the capacity to heal and reclaim all fragmented parts of ourselves as individuals, as a collective, as a planet, as a Universe, and to bring the remembrance of our multi-dimensional nature and potency into the Present Moment, infusing the Third Dimension with the energies that will heal and re-balance it.
When we recognize that in the higher dimensions, Time is infinite, it relieves all pressure and force from this process, and this healing process can ease through our channel in a way that honors our Relative Self’s ability to smoothly digest, integrate and re-stabilize.
Intend for this process to occur at a pace which is Self-Loving. The false pressure and urgency of Time is an illusion. As is the stasis of feeling entrapped in a cage. There is no need to force your awakening process by speeding it up out of impatience (to get it over with/move through the discomfort which is simply the thawing of many layers of numbness and forgetfulness), nor is there a need to hold onto the isolation of separateness. It is absolutely safe to emerge, so long as it happens naturally and without force, and to withdraw, so long as it is done naturally and without grasping.
In this way we can be in partnership with Time and with Story, just as with our minds and egos and all else that is relative (all of Samsara and the Material, every-changing reality), all of which is here to support us in anchoring and grounding Absolute Unconditional Love, thus dissolving the illusion that the Absolute and the Relative are at war with one another. We have been at war within ourselves and amongst ourselves for a long time. It is time for Peace. This Peace is absolutely rooted in Self-Love, which is the most important work we can do in this time, and which will lead each of us beautifully in offering service to the whole in our own unique ways.
~ In Love ~